I Brake for Spoon Straws

Should I be embarrassed that I stop at 7-11 everyday? Probably. I’m a 35 year old woman – I should be at Panera. Or at the very least – the Starbucks inside of Vons. But no – I like to go where the pure sugar flows. 7-11, home to Slurpees and 2 packs of Newports for $6.00. I never visited 7-11 much as a kid. My Dad preferred to visit neighborhood liquor stores, probably because 7-11 doesn’t sell hard liquor. On the rare occasion I did get to go to a 7-11, they always had a certain smell. Not bad, but just that 7-11 smell. I liken it to what I like to call the “TG&Y Smell” – something distinctive to a certain establishment, but instantly recognizable.

I also don’t remember there being so many 7-11’s around. Not like now, where there’s a brand new one on every corner. I’m guessing that their franchising fee isn’t much. IMG_8940 And that brings me to my usual 7-11. It’s down the street from my work and has probably been open a year and half. It was amazing when it first opened – clean and fully stocked with friendly and knowledgeable staff. It was nice to have a quick-service store near work – sure, there were plenty of eating establishments nearby, but when you had cramps and needed some Motrin, 7-11 was the answer (plus, you could stock up on a plethora of chocolate while you were there).

So now when I go, it’s a fucking dump. The night crew must not do shit during their shift. When I come in, there’s product all over the floor, spilled Slurpee on the floor, nothing is refilled, and nothing restocked. For example, I go in this morning. There are four products that I drink in rotation – Coke Slurpee, mocha iced coffee, cappuccino, and iced tea. Three of the four were out and it was like that the day before. Fucking REALLY? Plus there was Slurpee Splooge all over the cups, so there went THAT option.

“But what do you expect? It’s a fucking 7-11 in the ghetto.”

I get that, but here’s the rub – the same owner owns ANOTHER 7-11 down the road and it’s in the same type of area with the same clientele and it’s always stocked and clean. I mean STOCKED – a variety of hot food in the warmer, no spills, and everything refilled. So why can’t the owner give a shit about the other location and get a decent manager? There’s also a guy that I run into while I’m there. He’s nice, but he looks me up and down every time I walk in. Then he proceeds to tell me about how many times he’s won playing Fantasy 5. Fuck Fantasy 5 – it’s all about the Daily Derby. AND he parks like an asshole – he backs his mini-van in and takes up two spots. Hey pal, why don’t you take your Fantasy 5 winnings and BUY A FUCKING REVIEW MIRROR?

But I’ll continue to go there. I guess I put the 7 in 7-11. Now I need a guy to put the 11 in me.

Who am I kidding? My pussy can only handle the Fantasy 5 and a half 😦