Skidder Out of My Heart

As a lover of vintage advertising, I spend a lot of time watching old commercials, looking at magazines, and singing jingles.

I even dedicate an Instagram account to my love of vintage ads – check it out at https://instagram.com/southerncaliforniatv

So while on the hunt for some stuff to post, I came across (not literally) a commercial for the now-defunct Nice n’ Soft toilet paper.

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I love mascots and I love Lil’ Softy. But who okay’d the idea to create Lil’ Softy in the flesh (sic) and have her in commercials? I’m no prude by any means, but Jesus Christ – let’s have a naked hippie child represent our asswipe.

I love this Nice n’ Soft commercial. It’s your typical “my husband’s such an idiot” scenario.11

Rhoda: “Hey Greg, let’s get some Nice N’ Soft.”

Greg: “Pshawwwwww…..it’s just asswipe.”

At this time, Lil’ Softy regulates on Greg and tells him it’s “softy-er”.

Greg decides to humiliate Lil’ Softy regarding her cute made-up adjectives.

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Lil’ Softy tells Greg that her TP is the motherfuckin’ softest and that Steve Garvey called and wants his hair back.

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Greg picks it up and feels for himself.

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“Whaddaya know? It IS soft!”

“C’mere you vaginaless hippie toilet paper baby!”

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I’m guessing Nice N’ Soft was discontinued sometime in the 90’s, because I haven’t seen any advertising after 1988. Maybe it became Angel Soft? Lil’ Softy is kind of angelic. Zee Paper Products produced Nice N’ Soft at that time (hence all of the Zee Paper Towels in the background) and surprisingly enough, Zee is still around, although it’s owned by the Koch Brothers now.

Maybe Nice N’ Soft and Lil’ Softy will make a comeback? Sure, having a naked child as your mascot is totally unPC now, but they can just give Lil’ Softy a sundress to wear.

But would you still call it “going Commando” when you don’t have any parts to command?

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